A Death! If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Theres no present. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Its because volunteers work for no pay. No money to be made off of the homeless. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. 3140. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. //]]> q("i", arguments) gads.src = (useSSL ? Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. }); By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed They own all the important land. I love individuals. Nobody seems to care. return false; Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. I mean, life is tough. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to What do you get at the end of it? A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. I look at war a little. if (a[a9]) return; I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success We havent tried that for a while. fetchBids: function() { setDisplayBids: function() {}, American The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. They own everything. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. 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George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Hes not a cheese. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. It takes up a lot of your time. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Its interested in its own power. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. So arrogant. Laugh often, long and loud. George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium . I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Right in the f--in head! People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; They own you. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. } Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Seems like a big waste of time to me! We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. People are wonderful. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Pictures. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); In America, anyone can become president. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin //]]> Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' _Q: [] var gads = document.createElement("script"); TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. I have certain rules I live by. 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Maybe this time itll work. return cookiePair[1]; Theyre all in favour of the unborn. If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! It seems only right. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. [.] His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Comedian God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. //]]> Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. }, A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. Topics. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. George Carlin > Quotes (?) Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. if (window.csa) { Authors. stylesheet.href = url; var cookie = cookies[i]; died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. (function() { Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. - George Carlin quotes. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. Nobody owns anything. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And armbands. I think that speaks for itself. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. } Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Lets get started! Save the planet! The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. He was an American standup comedian.
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